Can I just say how much I love this song? I heard it yesterday (probably late, but I mean … get over it) on the radio during my regular morning commute. It was by chance, too, because I never listen to the radio in the car anymore. Anyway, I’ve been listening to it over … and over … and over … and over … and over. Love it. I like the sound, I love the lyrics … and Melanie Fiona is amazing.
It’s a shame, really. I’ve had The Lady Killer but I guess I never really got that far down the album. Time for some intense playtime.
I absolutely LOATHE how everyone comes to me with their problems and I’m supposed to drop everything to listen to, support and advise them, but when I turn around for the same thing everybody gets stupid looks on their faces.
Time to do some reevaluation of relationships, if you ask me.
I loved Idlewild the movie and I loved the soundtrack as well. Completely forgot to re-add it to my library with the new MacBook, but shout out to Star for reminding me with her fabulous Idlewild posts.
… so, as most people don’t know, I really wasn’t technically “graduating” this semester. I was walking, yes, but I’d be back in September to finish my ridiculously long journey to dual degree-dom. Stupid decision, now that I look back on it, because this shit is taking FOREVER and I plan on going to grad school eventually anyway.
Anyway, a lot of things considered, I decided not to walk in a month because:
My sister graduates from high school in May, in all of her academic and extracurricular splendor, and she’s legitimately graduating. I don’t wanna mess up her shine for my illegitimately graduating foolery.
When I walk, I want to walk away from College Park. It will mean more to me then.
I wanted to avoid being envious come May when all the regular people my age were walking (I’m still only 21), but then I realized that I really don’t even like 90% 80% 85% of the people in College Park anymore so their opinions aren’t relevant. *shrugs*
The only problem now is that my father is posting profile pictures of UMD logos and updating his Facebook status to say his oldest daughter is getting two degrees in May and how God is so good. Twenty people like this status. Now I feel bad. But at the same time, I’m so tired and done trying to meet everyone’s expectations that I’m fighting between some type of guilt-based depression and a blame-filled anger for people expecting so much of me. Between family and extracurriculars, this semester went to everyone but me.
… and then, possibly, I may be afraid of my future. Not knowing scares me. I’m always planning, always in control. To not know what lies ahead of me freaks me the hell out. So I’m probably going to be in some kind of panicky state for the next few weeks. Contradictory, maybe, but I feel like music, wine and some intense conversations with the man upstairs will be my life until I figure things out.
*sigh* That was revealing, but kind of cathartic. *considers deleting this*